Bruce Willis Wants Your Money

Way back when DHINO was being promoted, people started to worry that from the trailer, it looked like a pile of family-themed ass.  On the website AICN, which is a pretty big site that gets big interviews from the likes of Stallone, the infamous talkback section wasn't just unhappy, it was in atomic uproar about the PG-13 announcement.  Then, some guy appears under the pseudonym 'Walter_B', claiming to be associated with the movie and that people need to calm down.  Most didn't, some accused him of being Willis.  Now, AICN has since curiously removed this page.  But thanks to caches and the interwebs in general, you can never fully delete shit online. Willis was playing the victim - a stance that would change heavily when he realised he had the talkbackers star-struck and in the palm of his hand.  In the meantime, before he appeared on camera, Walter_B caused one of the site owners to interject;

Moriarty: Walter B. is not Bruce Willis. Bruce and Harry are going to talk soon. Harry's got a little trip to take first, but when he's back, we'll get the Bruce Willis conversation started here on the site. Rest assured that if Bruce Willis wanted to join the Talkbacks, we'd authenticate him and give him a black box so you could be sure who you were talking to. I'm sorry if any of you feel duped. I didn't realize this was going on. So... that in mind... the Q&A with the real Bruce will still be happening... soon...

Then, the response...

Walter_B: And Moriarty, sorry kid, but you I also find amusing. Hit me with your best test. BW.

Moriarty: Okay. Call Harry and tell him you are posting in the talkbacks. That's it. The one and only test that matters. Short of that conversation happening... now... Walter B. is simply not Bruce Willis.

Moriarty: This was not Bruce Willis. It really shouldn't even be a question but in case you're still wondering... nope. Not him.

Walter_B: I realized how we can solve this conundrum quite easliy. You all live in a digital world. someone must have a Mac with iChat camera ability. Send me your biggest doubter, who has iChat/video ability, and have them call ( i will give that person my iChat address, and they will see me talking to them. I doubt if there is a way to fake that. let's see.... thanks bw and what is a black box?

And then...

Willis starts talking to one of the guys in the comment section on webcam.  People who were hitherto in uproar were now starstruck.  I happened to be reading this whole exchange between Willis and the talkbackers.  I wasn't a member of the site, which you had to be to post, because I'm not into every movie released (only MANLY MOVIES, y'see).  And everytime I refreshed the page, Willis was trying to polish the DHINO turd.  Despite appearing on camera, Willis wasn't finished in the comments section;

Walter_B: The Mythology of Die Hard started getting used, everyone got it, almost immediately. We never thought we were shooting a movie, not a rating. i have said it elsewhere on this Thread, but except for the Fuck quotient, this Film is as badass as the First, and way tougher than 2 or 3, and the hardcore heart of the Film's Mythology has not been compromised one bit, regardless of the outrage of those who haven't seen it yet.    

That's right, Willis called DHINO 'as badass' as the first.  But what you didn't see, and can't be found on other sites who cached/copied the material, was Willis upping the ante and calling it superior to the first.  Among other things, such as taking shots at the director of Armageddon.  Before the talkbackers knew it was him, he was taking a (faux) stand against PG-13.  When he had them on side, by appearing on camera, it all changed.  Willis went on to kiss Len Wiseman's ass, herald the benefits of PG-13 and condescend people arguing that Die Hard is a Rated-R franchise.  At the time, part of me thought, shit, Willis knows this is going to be a turd and regrets doing it and is now in damage control mode.  Well that observation was partly correct, he was engaging in damage control but he had zero fucking regrets.

How do we know he had zero regrets?  Because he's doing it again.  DHINO 2.0 is just around the corner and it looks like more of the same.  It's almost certainly PG-13 and looks like a Tom Cruise movie, like Mission Impossible.  And that was no accident.  Notice how there's a McClane Jr?  Meet Agent Jack McClane, the new cash cow for Fox.  Mark my words, they're betting on getting a PG spy/Bond/Bourne trilogy out of this.  Goodbye John McClane, hello Jack McClane.  I have nothing against the actor taking this role (I can't even remember his name), but it's bullshit from top to bottom.

And Bruce Willis is complicit.

Bruce, you've done it again.  But this time it's clear it was no accident.  It's clear you weren't duped by the studio, as you insinuated in that talkback (Yes, he did).  Because again it's clear even from a trailer that you're phoning it in, that you're not playing McClane and that you're taking the big payday on a family caper movie.  You could've stuck to your roots and worked for the smaller studios like Arnie and Sly, with Bullet and The Last Stand.  But you have sold out.  Bruce, it'll be a miracle if this movie is a real Die Hard movie.  You knew it would't be, yet you indulged.

By the way.  What better way to end this negative entry than to give a nod to Stallone.  Yes, trust Stallone to do the exact opposite.  Y'see, Stallone being good friends with Walter B, he heard about the pulsating effect in publicity a site like AICN can have on free promotion.  Shortly afterwards, Stallone went to the site and gave them a 3 minute clip of a new movie he was developing, a movie called Rambo.  Stallone knew this was a site that liked it oldschool, and in turn gave them a clip that was so profusely violent, it surely made old ladies vomit.  Afterwards, Stallone went on to take fan questions from the site, something he did several times afterward.  This is where Stallone famously revealed the details about the Van Damme/Seagal showdown at his house.